Grief; It Comes In Waves



Wow, what a month! I have to admit it's been somewhat of a whirlwind for many, including myself. I personally have experienced a range of emotions including excitement, sadness, hope, defeat, empowerment, joy, fear, gratitude, and surrender. In light of all that, and the increase in COVID cases and a new mask mandate, I felt it only appropriate to write a little about grief. I hope you find this helpful. Please feel free to leave feedback, reach out via email, or through the “Hay Keri” section on the website. 

Grief comes in waves. Sometimes the grief comes in like a tropical storm and it lasts for days.  You feel the oncoming of it, at times you may feel irritable, overwhelmed, exhausted, hopeless, and have this ache in your tummy.  You may try to hide from it, run away and distract yourself from what you are feeling.  However hard you try though it has a way of making itself known.  The longer you deny what you are feeling the more intense it becomes.  Some people are unaware of what it is doing to their system and they keep on going in life until eventually something breaks within themselves. I know for myself there have been times I did not recognize that it was grief that I was experiencing.  

Grief has no timeline. We can grieve the past, present, and the future for days, weeks, years and it is because of this that we know we have no control over grief. Grief doesn't only happen when we experience the loss of a loved one.  Grief is felt when we feel any kind of loss.  The loss can be a life change, even a positive one, as it is with every beginning there is an ending. The ending can be of relationships (platonic or romantic), a move, birth of a child, creating an entirely new way of life, a child graduating and moving out on their own, a pandemic, natural disasters happening in the world, wars, and so much more. 

It is possible that the reason we avoid grief so much is because we don’t feel in control of it.  Some people will say they don’t want to allow themselves to grieve because they are afraid they will never stop crying. It honestly takes work to help them accept that they will, in fact, stop crying, and once the tears begin to fall you are now releasing.  Releasing what you have been holding in, this is now allowing room for beautiful things to enter. 

There is so much grief in our world right now.  We are in the middle of fighting a pandemic, watching a country being taken over by a hostile group, natural disasters wiping out peoples homes and taking lives with it, feeling a strong division from others, and so much more.  Some of us are also grieving on a more personal level like illness, losing or leaving a job, we are grieving our kiddos growing up and headed into the next grade, starting college, becoming mommies and daddies, divorce, loss of friendships, and grieving our fears of what is to become of ourselves, our country, our planet.  

I can assure there is no magic wand that will remove the grief and would you even really want to use it if there was?  You see, grief has a purpose, it creates openings for us to learn and grow, increase our level of self awareness, and bring about a feeling of peace when you have allowed it to move through you. Keeping in mind that grief does not have a timeline it comes in waves, just like the waves of an ocean. Sometimes they are small, sometimes it's very quiet, and sometimes it feels like a tidal wave.  

So, grief will happen no matter what. It comes in the good times and the not so good ones.  With that I challenge you to let your grief speak, ask the tears what they want to say, check in with the ache in your tummy, and allow whatever needs to be processed move through you. Do not judge how you process your grief, but running from it only does more harm. 

For the last two days my grief has been very heavy, and I have made a commitment not to distract from it, run from it, or avoid it.  I am facing it head on, taking it one moment at a time. I am practicing extra self-care, and refusing to avoid this feeling.  So, if you are experiencing some level of grief at this time, try to make a commitment to yourself to allow yourself to feel it and process it.  And in that process also promise yourself you will not judge yourself.  Take some extra time for yourself, spend time with those you love and trust, take a ride at sunset, look up,  ask for support or anything else you feel would be good for you. Whatever you do, please try not to stuff it or avoid it.  Grief easily transforms itself into anxiety and depression and trust me, in times like these we don’t need to add to the pain. It’s much easier to tackle the source of pain when it is not blocked, and then have to work through layers of so much avoidance that has contributed to our overall mental health. 

Grieve what needs to be grieved, let your tears fall, remember that every tear has a different chemical makeup, meaning the chemical make up for a tear of joy is different than the tears of loss.  Let your body release what it needs, and trust that your body knows exactly what it needs. 

Trust the process, know that you are supported, and have other supports all around you. Read the full Three Acres newsletter HERE!

In light, love, and grace, 

Keri 

Popular posts from this blog

Staff Meeting and Honoring Fear

Image
  We had our first “staff” meeting during the month of June and it went really well with the exception of two of our people unable to attend. We held our meeting equine-learning style (which is way more interesting than any other staff meeting I have attended). My plan was to do the meeting as a group and obviously the horses were a part of that. I thought that I would be a participant and a therapist stepping in and out of the role. It can get a little tricky to do this but it's totally possible. Anyway, that was the plan, but one of the many things I have learned with equine therapy is that things usually never go according to plan. My team ended up being the therapist and I was more like the participant. However, as a team we all had our roles as a group. In this “staff meeting” I was able to see what I had been feeling but avoided saying. It is fear. I realized I am afraid of a lot of things, especially starting a business. With the support of my team and the interactions of th
Read more

The Gift of Intuition

Image
As a child, I often had dreams that would come true and visited with some loved ones who had already passed over. My friends often asked me what I thought about certain situations in their lives, and very often I was able to accurately guide them with things to do, behaviors to avoid, and so on.  I had never thought much about this until my late teens when I learned more about what it meant to have psychic abilities. I was instantly drawn to learn more about this gift, including my own gifts and abilities.  In 2005 I began working with my mentor Virginia Thompson, who has since passed.  Virginia was a registered nurse, reverend, author, and psychic.  She hated the word psychic because of all the stereotypes attached to it.  For many, a softer and more recognizable word intuitive. We all have intuition, we just use it differently - some use it a lot and some don’t.  I worked with Virginia to fine-tune my own skills and abilities. This was not an easy task. Being able to work with energ
Read more